Expanding oneself, embracing cringe, goals, and being the worst in the room
Kia ora friend,
I hope you have had a good past two weeks since I last wrote this newsletter. Consistency is something I struggle with these newsletters because, for one, I am not prioritising writing them, and two, I don’t have anything to say. Hopefully, with some more effective time management and journaling, I can stick to writing these weekly newsletters!
I have a few ideas to provide in this newsletter, so let’s jump in.
Expanding the role
A dear workmate (this guy was responsible for changing my whole career trajectory in a positive direction) called me and suggested some goals for my career in expanding it. He said that my role is unique, being an optometrist as well as having technical skills.
Why not talk about this to the students at the University of Auckland? Here was me thinking I had left optometry, but I’m still in the industry of caring for eyes, except in a different role. So, why not make that more apparent? I guess optometry is more than just being in a clinic testing eyes, and students should be made more aware of the possibilities out there.
That means putting myself out there not just on the internet, but connecting with people in person. That means, like what was mentioned previously, talking to the students at the University, but also optometry conferences. The benefit of this is that it gives the company I work for more visibility.
Embracing the cringe again and using Instagram
Something I’ve started doing again is posting more on my Instagram. This includes creating stories about some thoughts I’ve had, films I’ve watched, books I’ve read, and projects I’ve undertaken.
This is on top of polls that I have done.
Initially, I used to do this but stopped. One reason was that I was a bit too unfiltered and unhinged, so I felt ashamed about what I had said in these stories. Plus, since I am getting out and about more in Palmerston North, I would see people in real life who had also seen these stories and would have this sense of embarrassment. I bet these individuals had more on their minds than to think about me, but that feeling was always there — that I was getting laughed at behind my back.
To overcome this, I have chosen to embrace the cringe and just let the floodgate open. As I said, people having other things in mind (i.e. a nicer way of saying that they don’t care) is slightly more liberating because it allows me to experiment with what I want to do and how I want to project myself online.
I’ve enjoyed creating these stories because in a way it encourages me to perform more actions.
Some examples include:
Doing chapter summaries for Ali Abdaal’s new and debut book, Feel Good Productivity. The benefit of sharing this is that I get to learn by teaching. Because I get the share this knowledge, I’m retaining more information. And because I am excited to share this knowledge, it keeps me more consistent when reading.
Sharing some ideas (that will be in this newsletter such as “being the worst” in the room) — people learn and I also get to have discussions with others.
Sharing my thoughts on a recent movie I watched, Elemental.
Sharing my Medito donation page project.
We can see the benefits, so I’ll stick to it.
Finally, because you have to broadcast your day, it makes you more observant of interesting things in your life — like a behind-the-scenes (BTS) look.
Goal setting for 2024
Recently, because I pre-ordered Abdaal’s Feel Good Productivity, I was invited — with 11,000 other people — to a live Zoom call (which took place at 3 am here in New Zealand) to create clear goals for 2024.
The session started with listed achievements of the previous year of 2023 — this primes you to see what you accomplished as well as what you have missed out on.
From there, we were asked to list out dreams without limits, like money and time. With this list, we would categorise them into 10-year, 5-year, and 1-year goals.
Then, of those 1 year goals, we would highlight 3-5 goals. The reason it’s no more than 5 is because if there are too many goals, then the likelihood they would be met is low, as there are too many.
Of these goals, they need to be a mix of almost unattainable and achievable; this puts you in the excited stretch zone instead of being anxiety-induced if the goals are too hard or boring if the goals are too easy.
From these goals, we would ask ourselves the big WHY for these goals. This often uncovers a deeper motivation. And then, with that, we would come up with chess moves to attain those goals — or at least work towards them.
This was an interesting take on goal setting and I enjoyed it. Also, new Year's resolution goals get quite a bad wrap. I think because it’s such a cliche. But the benefit is that since a few people set goals at the start of the year as opposed to setting goals at random points during the year, you are trying something new with people, as opposed to doing it all alone.
(Sorry I am keeping my 2024 goals secret unless you want to see them!)
Being the worst in the room
Finally, this concept I thought about when I was in my Acrobatics class. Compared to everyone else in the class — I sucked!
I wasn’t able to do moves that others found easy. I think it was a twisted grip elbow stand, straddling the pole. I’m not sure.
But the point is that I was not able to do it even to its most rudimentary level, but everyone else could.
I was the worst in the room.
I discussed this with my online weightlifting coach to see if he could shed some light on this topic.
He told me that the best in the room may have some character flaws that stop them from reaching improvement in their ability. However, the worst in the room usually gets the most out of the lesson. It’s hard though, because the ‘worst’ has to fight off comparison and also the fact that it may seem like an eternity before their goals can be met.
This is exactly the advice I needed.
And it’s something I would strive to do in other areas. It feels good to be the best. On the other hand, it’s a good sign of a healthy ego to seek the discomfort of possibly being the worst in the room — and that lines up with the notion that we improve through seeking difficulty.
Thanks for reading this, I hope you found it interesting,
Have a good week and talk again.
Stay focused,
Shivan
My Favourite Things
1. Film: Elemental (2023)
Directed by Peter Sohn, this is another great Pixar film. It starts with a young couple leaving their homeland of Fireland for a new place, Elemental city — similar to the first immigrants of America. The movie encapsulates the idea of immigrants dealing with xenophobia. On top of this, it’s a fun romantic comedy that involves forbidden love between two races. And we are also challenged in our views of healthy male and female archetypes. I enjoyed this movie a lot!